I’ve been beating myself up for a while. Okay, if we’re being honest, I’ve been beating myself up for 50-ish years but this is for a new specific reason.

I quit writing as often because I didn’t feel like I had anything appropriate for this audience to share. You were all here for the bad ass ninja-ry. And when all I had to say was “more of the same,” was any of how I’m doing really relevant?

But a lot of what I’ve been through since “exiting” treatment has probably been relevant to surviving cancer. I’m a month short of hitting Menopause for third, actual, non-chemical time. So with the perimenopause struggles I’ve been through, I could have been giving you a heads up. The heartbreak of dealing with aging parents. Parenting a brilliant non-binary human with AuDHD as they have struggled through their degree. Life stuff.

But that wasn’t about being a survivor. That was just stuff, and I told myself that I built this channel to help a specific audience, people who wanted to understand what it’s like to go through what I’ve been going through. Figured that I’d update you when I have plans to update my implants (one of them is ruptured) or how I could talk about my diabetes diagnosis and last year and a half of weight loss.

But when I am really, truly being honest, this blog has only ever been for one person.

Me.

For the last, maybe 10 years, I’ve been grinning like I’m winning, but when I can’t make at least a dotted line to my faux-bies, I don’t write. But if Ms. Taylor Swift has taught us nothing else, it’s that sometimes you have to shake off the haters, even when they are just your own thoughts and make the whole place shimmer.

So if you’ve only read this far for breast cancer specific content and you want to drop out, no hard feelings. I will still give the new boob update once I decide when I’m going to do that. And I can tag if there’s any update that is specific to mutating cells, I will.

But instead of trying to fill in gaps, I’m just going to talk about what I need to talk about in the moment. Navigating the job market after 50, (or at 22 for the kid when you have a BS in Chemistry and someone decides to stop funding science), what the tastiest electrolytes are for a perimenopausal person with well controlled T2D on a GLP1, or what to wear to Pilates class when you are losing weight but are unemployed and don’t want to spend money.

I’ll probably talk about it all.