So if you know me in real life, you are likely not shocked that even though I never finished watching the final season, I am a HUGE fan of the West Wing. Great writing, mostly great acting, and other general awesomeness.

Although as I have learned this year, I’m willing to bet it’s as much easier to be the fake President on TV as it is to have breast cancer on TV.

But I digress.

On the West Wing, when Bartlett was done with something, he would say, “What’s Next?” This was best explained in the episode where Josh got shot by people shooting at Charlie, and blah blah blah, but the idea was, when he said “what’s next,” he was DONE with the current topic, and ready to move on.

So as I said to my doc when I saw him a week ago, “What’s Next?” for your friend the ninja.  Here’s how it looks:

• Dec. 3- I forget which number fill for tissue expanders (I’ve had cancer, no one said I had to do MATH TOO)
• Dec. 17- Last fill of the boobies.  Let them sit in their stiffness “high and proud” on my chest for 3+ months to get all acclimated.
• Dec. 25- Christmas. I’m really hoping for hair. (If anyone knows a place where I can donate or exchange in the butt that I currently have for the hair, I’m willing.)
• Dec 28. I turn 39.  Again, top of the wish list = Hair… since I’ll already be done with most of the work working on the boobies, right?
• Jan 1- Start the Tamoxifen.  Hot flashes and other early menopause symptoms to ensue. (I think they should call it woman-o-pause since they are pausing my women-ness, but my boss pointed out the whole “pausing menses” root and all that. Again, more thinking than I need to do today.  There is a good chance that this blog will document my decline into bat shit crazy. I’ll be interested to see how readership does as I lose my shit)
• Late March/Early April- Reconstructive surgery.  I get the hard, water-filled boobies replaced with some nice gummy bears.
• June 28- 16 year wedding anniversary. Likely when I will be ready to let the sidekick touch the new soft boobies… 🙂

The other thing I’ll be figuring out in there is how to get back to whittling my waist.  20/20 worked for me, but was CRAZY expensive, and we’ve had a lot of co-pays this year.  My favorite trainer is no longer at the kind of close to me gym… and the gym closest to me is about to go 24 hour… which would be super helpful.  I like to go to the gym and watch biggest loser on elliptical.

So just one last update on what’s been now, since we all know I’d rather skip straight to next.

My eyes were unhappy for the first few days, so I just kept them closed.  When I woke up yesterday I was able to sit with the light box (as the dog thinks of the laptop according to me) in my lap for a little while and get caught up on mail & dog shaming.

The side effects have been pretty much the same as the other three times. Pain has moved around more.  I’ve had a couple of awesome visitors who brought me mittens, food, and a reason to keep my eyes open. The only other one, which I was told to expect, is that my nail beds hurt.  All 20 of them.  They feel like they were stepped on or stubbed, but it’s JUST the nail bed, except for when it’s more pain than that.  Oh, and my pecs are super cranky. But that has been on going since my last fill. Hoping that once I stop the chemo after the fills, that the pec pain will also go away.

Oh, and my lips are peeling, so I both need to put more Burt’s Bees on them and quit chewing on them.

All in all, I’m feeling like I’m seeing the other side of this. That may be optimistic, but I always have been a glass half-full girl. 🙂