The Back Forty

I’m drunk.

And right now I’m so in love with you. And I don’t want to think too much about what we should and shouldn’t do.

Okay Ninjas, I think this is my second drunk post.

I feel like I should feel guilty, but I’ve decided not to.

For more time than I’d like to admit, I’ve been freaking out about what 12-28-13 signifies.

The big 4-0.

And when I REALLY think about it, I KNOW that I should be thankful. My good friend Tricia Moen, didn’t even get to 40. Colon cancer got there first.

And when I realize how many of my friends who are having babies now for the very first time, I have to be thankful that I’d already given birth to the only child I was planning to have BEFORE I found the lump in Lefty and menopause set in. Sully even picked out pink, dangly, Kate Spade earrings for me for my birthday this year.  Does my son know me or what?

But the fact is, for weeks, it has felt like there’s something missing.

Like there is SOMETHING in my cosmic checklist that I was supposed to have done before 40.

Career of my dreams in news? Check.

Then career that lets me be a mom? Double check.

Marry the love of my life? Check.

Give birth to the most amazing child ever? Check again.

Have super-awesome-amazing friends? Super check.

Kick some cancer ass. BIG OL’ FREAKING CHECK.

So I haven’t figured out what it is that I was that I haven’t done yet.

And as The Bloggess (who is evidently exactly one day younger than me) says: “40 is the new I-don’t-really-give-a-shit-about-how-old-I-am-because-I’m-finally-learning-how-to-be-a-bad-ass-so-get-out-of-my-way-or-I-will-shank-you-thank-you-very-much.”

So a) thank you to all of my super-awesome-amazing friends. And b) I’m finally learning to be a BAD ASS. So when I figure out WTF it is that I haven’t checked off yet, watch out.

You have been warned.

And thank you for coming along for the ride!

2 thoughts on “The Back Forty

  1. Sometimes I think “that feeling” is just all the BS the world has tried to tell us about what 40-50-60, etc should be. Try crossing that not “off” but “through”, and see if the feeling disappears… XOXOX Della

  2. Pingback: The Scarlet Letter | The Breast Cancer Ninja

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