Not using the previously mentioned title out of respect for getting songs stuck in your heads… and since I was not in the mood for the song I’d previously identified when I posted last.

So as expected, the drains didn’t come out at my appointment on Friday.  And even though I sat around all weekend, even taking a big ol’ nap on Saturday, I was only down to 35 cc on both sides last night, so I’m not holding my breath that they’ll come out tomorrow.  Sigh.

The other revelation was that this whole tissue expander business HURTS!

I know, I should have known that it would hurt to fill a water balloon under a muscle, but I was told that the first few fills aren’t too bad.  The “not too bad” failed to take two things into account.

    1. I’m still healing from the actual surgery (hence, I still have the damn drains in)
    2. Since I’ve “got the room” they doubled my saline, so I now have 220 cc of water in the balloons… and the 110 I started with is twice as much as my plastic surgeon said she usually starts with at the time she does the implants.


So this weekend I’ve been a little down. Nothing crazy, just frustrated and sitting in my husband’s chair all of the time. Which frustrates me.  I’ve told a couple of people this, but I actually got bored enough to watch “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” on TLC.  Although it does have the advantage of making me feel like a WONDERFUL parent, I’m pretty sure that its current ratings are a sign of the apocalypse. Seriously.

I may not be holding my breath about getting the drains out tomorrow, but I will cross my fingers.  To me, beyond no longer having bags of fluid that I’m walking around with attached to my body,  they symbolize that I’m healing enough to really move and go out into the real world.

The other thing it will mean is that I’m able to sleep without being protected by pillows.  I haven’t slept well in a couple of months now between, worry, warmth, cold, pain, and the fact that with drains in my side, I’m not able to be on my side like I’d like.  I also can’t cuddle up to my husband comfortably, which is probably the worst part of all. I’m a cuddler, and to be stuck alone in a chair because it lets me recline without all sorts of odd pillows & propping.

I know I don’t have it that bad, and I MAY even learn tomorrow that I don’t have to have chemo (fingers crossed, breath not held on that too) and once I feel more completely healed I will suck it up more about the pain, but it’s now been 3.5 weeks since my surgery and I HATE waiting.


One thought on “Sigh

  1. I know BC sucks! I’m having an appointment with the onkologist today to learn more about the chemo. I really hope you don’t need that – fingers crossed for you! 🙂

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