Last week I mentioned that it had been 20 years since I gave the sidekick my phone number in what turns out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, sober or not.
Twenty years ago tonight, we went to Boston Common for our most important first date ever.
Today has been tough, my hardest day yet of this cancer crap.
My legs, hips, and knees hurt unless I’m on oxy. The rest of me feels odd. I’ve been fighting nausea, and slept much of the day.
But as I’ve mentioned, I’ve got plans for the rest of my life that don’t involve cancer.
And if David can put up with me for another 20 years, and maybe even another 30 more, it’s only fair that I fight on, even on the days that suck.
I wouldn’t have made it through the last 20 years or any if this crap with out him.
If I’m lucky I never will.
The Breast Cancer Ninja 
Yup, this is gonna suck for a while, but you got this no worries.
Not that its any consolation, but when I had my heart attack 7 years ago, I had a horrible time recovering. There were moments I was so weak that getting out of bed was a chore and enough to put me back in bed for the entire day. I was 34 years old and had to ride a freaking electric scooter in the grocery store because I couldn’t walk ten feet without collapsing. It was horrible, humiliating, and at times I thought I would never get better.
But I kept putting one foot in front of the other, kept looking at my kids each day and realizing how grateful I was to be alive and sitting next to them, and how much I loved my wife for all of her support. It was those small moments that made me WANT to be alive and live with purpose. I suffered at the gym for 6 months. I ate healthy crap that NO person should ever have to choose to eat (I mean what good is life without chocolate cake smothered in frosting, right?). For God sake man, give this brother a double-double animal style and some cheese fries please!!!!
Sorry, I get a touch emotional…
The point is, you have to be a fighter and continue putting one fit in front of the other. F the nausea! F the pain! Let your body piss and moan, but let it know you’re not going to put up with that and disobey any feelings of sadness or pain. Look for those little moments that you missed in the past because life had you in a frantic choke-hold. This is your time to LIVE!
Go get’em girl!
YOU’VE GOT THIS.
Luck is lovely, but you’ve got this. Conquer!
xo
Thinking about you Ange..hugs!
Ange, I started reading your first blog entry last Friday and finished the last one today. You are an incredible woman/wife/mother/daughter/human and I am moved by what you have gone through and how you have shared your journey. I always worry about my DD’s and when a lump might be more than a cyst. So far, so good, but it’s always in the back of my mind. Thank you for sharing and for being you!!! You’ll be in my thoughts as you continue through this life journey! xoxo, Heather