So if I still had chemo, today would be my most miserable day. But as it is, it’s my very last fill of the tissue expanders!
I forget if I even updated after the last fill but I’m already a little bit bigger than my gummy bears will be, but as I have said several times to several people, you have to make the wrapping bigger than the package that’s going inside it, so they will be taking me up to 960 cc today, even though the biggest gummy bears that they’ve got are 800 cc.
So the last couple of weeks that I haven’t written, I’ve really just been working. It feels great to immerse myself in work again, and to not think of myself as much as the chick who is fighting cancer, and more of the chick who gets shit done in the office.
It has been a little bit funny as I run in to people who are not on my team and they say “oh, you’re back!” and I’m like “dude, I never REALLY left” but I work on one end of the building and people just don’t always see me. And I haven’t made a BIG effort to BE seen, since I always feel like I might flake out at any point when I don’t feel good… and I don’t expect that to happen any more.
The only other thought I’ll share today — life can be fleeting — as we were all reminded on Friday. As I’ve mentioned, I spent a long time in TV news, and Friday is one of those days I was glad I was not there. It’s hard to turn your emotions off and just work to get the facts to people. As I sat on a train from Portland back home to Seattle I was fighting tears any time I saw mentions come up on Twitter or Facebook. All I wanted to do was go hug my boys and remind them that I love them.
So here’s your reminder from me again.
It’s the holidays, and you can use that as an excuse, but there’s really no excuse NOT to reach out to the people you love and tell them that you love them. We never know what this life can bring, and it’s SO easy to get caught up in our own existence and forget to reach out to the people we’re thinking of that we care about.
Every single morning, I get a chance to kiss my son goodbye and tell him that I love him as he heads to school.
Just one more reason I’m a lucky lady!