So Tired, Tired Of Waiting

Tired of waiting for BOOBS!

The exciting thing, is that the wait is almost over.  By this time next week, I’ll be home after my OUTPATIENT surgery to get rid of the rocks in my chest, and put in some nice, soft gummy bears. (Yes, I know I’ve spelled like 4 different ways.  I haven’t seen anything consistent, so I thought I’d try them all.)

I met with my surgical oncologist (the doc who sliced out the cancer) for the last time today.  She did a little exam, said that everything looks great, and then we said good bye, because there’s no reason I’ll ever see her again. Her job is done.

She did tell me a little more about my surgery next week- evidently they will actually prop me up in a seated position for at least part of the surgery so they can make sure to get the positioning right. This is a relief, since right now Righty is .5″ to 1″ higher than Lefty.  This is not something that I think people notice in general, but it’s really noticeable to me, so would be a problem for me if it were long term.

But then I start to wonder, how on earth do they prop me up if I’m out cold?  Am I strapped to the table that then swivels? Or are there like clampy things that go under my arms, like big hooks and I’m like hanging on a wall?

You know I’ll have to ask, so I’ll have to let you know once I’m back up to typing next week.

I’m a little worried that I’ve built this up too much in my head.  For so many reasons, I feel like my life has just been on hold, waiting to get through next Monday.

Once I get the new boobs, I’ll be able to sleep through the night (I can count the number of times I’ve done that since last July on one hand)

Once I get the new boobs, I won’t hurt every day.

Once I get the new boobs, I can plan our trip to take the little man to Boston for the first time this summer.

Once I get the new boobs, I will be able to lift things, and plan any events (Iron Girl Tri?) I’m going to do this summer.

Once I get the new boobs, I will concentrate on my health beyond cancer, and start working on that six pack to go with the new perky boobs.

It’s a lot of expectations I’m putting on 1600 cc of high density silicone, huh?

The last couple of weeks have been okay, work has been less busy, which is actually harder for me.  I’m happier staying on top of things when they are on fire than keeping myself busy when it’s slow.

Weekends, however, have been busy with good stuff.  Did a 5k walk for colon cancer with Mom last weekend.  (Yes, the same Mom who had chunks of her liver removed 34 days beforehand.)  And this weekend, got all of my nails did, and spent much of yesterday with some really wonderful friends.  They’re from Texas, and introduced us to the tradition of Cascarones, which are eggshells that have been cleaned out, painted and  filled with confetti. The egg is then crushed over someone’s head, and the confetti is meant to symbolize blessings, which then rain down on their head.

It was a ton of fun, and a good reminder.  Even with all of the things I’m waiting for, I’m still here, and my treatments, surgery, all of that went with out complications.

And for that, I am truly blessed.

3 thoughts on “So Tired, Tired Of Waiting

  1. Ange: My prediction on the sitting-up-in-surgery thing is they wrap some sorta velcro thing to attach your head to the table 🙂 Either way get pix! Seriously though sending all good wishes to welcome the new girls into your world – may you all be happy together! 🙂

  2. Lots of luck with your upcoming surgery. I wish for you a speedy recovery, so your next goals will be conquered! I am proud of you for being such an inspiration. You make one kick ass ninja!

  3. I can’t wait to hear how they do this! You are doing so amazing Ange. I can imagine that your brain needs to have this to look forward to, in order to give you a little finish line.

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